Vacation 11: Loire Valley Chateaus

Few words this post--mostly pictures.
Chambord is an architectural masterpiece, and not a bad hunting shack. The double helix stair case was pure genius. Even the firedrake family crests were a hit with the kids. My only two complaints about this day were: a) the toll was 50 Euros and the machines won't take 50 Euro bills, which meant we had no change or small bills left. b) the parking lot wouldn't take our credit card, only coins at a booth 10 minutes away.

 

 

Dinner by the pool was risotto and roast duck. The next day, we went to a lot of little summer cottages. Yawn. The GPS took us through every little town instead of the freeway. Often the 30 km/hr towns hate the traffic so much, they put planters in the road so only one car can pass at a time. At one point we went through a one-lane forest road before the GPS gave up! The other winner was Chenonceau. Ooo. Not only passed from mistress to queen, but it was a hospital and underground railroad during the wars. Plenty of photo ops inside, too.

vacation 10: Bavaria

We had a 1:55 tour scheduled for Neuschwanstein, Ludwig's castle in Bavaria. They wanted us there by one to pick up the tickets. Despite congestion at the toll plaza, construction, and slow moving vehicles on narrow Alpine roads, Tammy got us there just after one. We parked at one of the well-advertised parking areas I followed the signs at a run to pick up the tickets. Then we found out why they wanted us there an hour in advance: the buses run late and it's about a 30 minute fitness hike to the top of the hill where the castle is. We jogged in, panting, with almost 5 minutes to spare. Tammy wanted to take photos of the exterior beforehand, but I didn't want to miss our slot.

The tour was fascinating, but again--no photos allowed. Really? They let Wim Venders film the place for a 3D tour in the Gabriel Knight video game, which featured Ludwig as a werewolf.

One of the guys from Iowa kept asking if Ludwig was really crazy. I explained that the king was gay, not intending to produce an heir, and starting on his fourth(?) flamboyant castle after burning through 500 years worth of royal savings. The tour took less time than the round trip walk. We spent longer in the two gift shops: postcards, swan knick knacks, knights, and princess figurines.
Then we hiked to Mary's bridge over the chasm above the castle. Breath-taking views but so windy I thought we were going to lose a kid over the side. The cataract below us literally made a corkscrew shape. We took a tons of photos of these incredible vistas, and then set about documenting the exterior of the castle itself.

Because of it would take us an extra hour on twisty Austrian roads, and we hadn't allotted time for bridge and gift shop, we skipped Linderhoff, as it only  imitated Versailles and we were going to the real thing in a few days. Plus, the castles tend to be expensive. We ate German fare at a local restaurant. Because Tammy had a caterpillar still moving in her salad, the waiter treated us to a yummy Austrian apple dessert. I don't think I've heard the kids laugh that much in years.

Most Germans seemed to speak English as a second language, and the autobahn was free! Tammy reached 170 km/hr while I napped. We used the "spare" time that night to wash clothes in Munich. One of my favorite moments in the trip was when I struggled to ask the janitor at the laundromat how to pay for the machines in my pitiful German. When I berated myself in frustration, the Ugandan perked up. "Thank goodness you speak English," he said. "My German is not too good."

The next morning, we drove to Dachau. I include no photos because so many people died there, it's really a big grave. We unintentionally took the two mile Remembrance walk because it was the only labelled thing near the information building. We should've taken a map first. Our feet were tired when we actually returned for the bunk houses. The new, super-sized gas chambers were the most dramatic exhibit.

From there, we drove to Bingem-am-Rhine so we could visit the river where our family took its name. A cabinet maker came over to Philadelphia about 8 generations ago, and my Grandparents still spoke Pennsylvania Dutch. I touched the water and so did the kids. There were swans, grapes, and castles everywhere. The local bike path was under a meter of water as many German towns flooded this summer. We chatted with some natives in English and got directions to a local food place they recommended. Even though we had planned to drive to Koblenz and through the Luxemborg mountains, I had my doubts about how much scenery we'd see from the road or how well we could navigate in the dark. Since this was my tourist site request, we skipped the second town and went to our hotel just over the border in France.

The Formula 1 chain is clean, small, and dirt cheap--30 Euros a night per room. We had to get two rooms, because in France, anyone over the age of 4 counts as an adult. The toilets and showers are down the hall, and the beds are queen on bottom with a bunk over top. But I've lived in worse dorms. When you just want to crash for the night, it's fine.

vacation 9: Venice

Venice was beautiful and just a little sad, like visiting with a very old entertainer who used to be famous. I kept hearing about how often the city floods and how many pickpockets there are in San Marco--another church plagued by tourists and their predators. We parked in Mestre on the other side of the water and rode the train in for 1.4 euros each. It's dirty cheap and comfortable because every train bound to Venice stops there first. We chatted gratefully with other English speakers each direction.

The water buses are packed, but we were always first on to the second boat. We bought two one-way tickets for much less than a 4 hour pass. However, I picked the wrong direction (not the Grand Canal way) and we got the long tour of the cruise ship terminals, etc.

Emily posed by the Bridge of Sighs, used to transport prisoners to be judged. The Doge's palace, though pricey, had a lot of cool decor. Though we weren't supposed to take photos there either, people used their iphones and ipads with impunity. Pierce liked the medieval arms and armor displays near the end of the tour. My one regret was that they wouldn't let you sit down anywhere, and it was a long tour.

Weirdest was the mix of modern flavor. The courtyard had a definite Renaissance feel, whereas the clocks and council chambers could have been from the senate building today. The clocks with Roman numerals used IIII instead of IV. Also ironic, they seemed most often used the Arabic numbering system of their military opponents. Their rulership seemed enlightened and tolerant, but they had secret branches of the government. Some of the daggers in the armory were specifically designed for assassins. I wonder if people will see the same contradictions in our culture when they tour our ruins.

We stayed in Florence instead of Rome last night specifically to give us more leisure to explore Venice. However, by the time we finished the Doge palace, the church was closed, and we could only pose by the lion statues. A crowd of girls from a US school loved our matching shirts (several times people took photos of us), and ahhed when we told them our shirts matched the day we met. The walk to Rialto Bridge through the narrow maze of streets was pleasant, cool, and well-labelled. Emily enjoyed shopping for pretty fans. Tammy liked the carnival masks and bought several small ones as souvenirs. Despite the numerous shops and crowds that clog the bridge, we were able to take photos and find the boat bus docks easily. The ride back to Mestre that evening was relaxing, and we left to reach our hotel on the border by Austria before dark.

A tale of two hotels

Last night, we slept just outside Florence in a "three star" hotel from Excellent Hotels.com called the Albatross. This might have been a 3 star in 1960, but no one has done repair work on it since. The still use old metal keys that twist three times. It was hard to find as large trees obscure the building and the sign. Vans from a local business take all the best parking. The soccer field behind it keeps you awake till 11:30. Mosquitoes are everywhere, and the water-stained walls are still smeared with red and black streaks. The windows that keep the heat in don't keep the bloodsuckers or noise out. There is no TV or air conditioning to drone out the crowds. The mattresses are 2 inch foam from a dorm room. An octopus with everything but the locked fridge dangles from the socket hanging limply from the wall. The towels were as thin as sack cloth. You have two minutes to use the poorly shower before it floods the bathroom. Unfortunately, the free shampoo you just used is burning your eyes like napalm and you don't notice this until it's too late. I will say that the women working the breakfast area were very nice and gave us extra pastries for the children to eat later on the road.

 By contrast, the Mercure in Rovereto was a modern dream: WIFI, AC, working everything, clearly visible just off the highway, and only few euros more because we requested a family room. There was also no add-on city tax like elsewhere (usually a couple euros per star of the hotel per person). This room was double the normal size and had a divider that could be pulled to separate us from the sleeping kids, who had their own light switch. These were the best accommodations of the trip so far! When I told the kids that I had pre-paid another one like this in Tours, but with a pool, Dad was a hero. Given a choice between booking discounted from the Accor website or from and aggregator again, I would go out of my way to choose Accor when roughly the same price. In London, they were about twice the price of the little hotel we picked for that three days, but on the road, they offered the most bang for the buck.

vacation 8: Vatican City

Do you remember that Bugs Bunny cartoon where they kick Yosemite Sam in the pants and slap a pie in his face repeatedly to teach him to control his anger? And by the time he learns not to react, he's out of money? That's Rome.

Vatican City was planned as the cornerstone of our European tour, and seeing the pope was the pinnacle. We got up 3.5 hours early to get their with plenty to spare for the 10:30 event. One small problem remained, we didn't have the remaining 50 Euros in cash for the tour guide that afternoon because the bank took a two hour siesta yesterday. So, we waited in line for a bank that opened at 8:35, had a line already, and a mantrap/metal detector better than the airport. Even the key to the locker where you put your watch, phone, and change was plastic. How much robbery happens here on a daily basis to necessitate this? The line moved like molasses--10 minutes a customer. With five workers in the bank, only one dealt with customers, and he stopped to talk on his cell phone.

After all that, they wouldn't take the Citibank Visa card we ordered just for this trip, and neither would the ATMs because Citi wouldn't issue us a pin. We had to stop at a money changer for a 16 percent fee. We still made it through the pope's security checks to St Peter's Square, grabbed our tickets, and were passing through the third line to our seats at 9:30am. Alas, too good to be true.

Secret Service slammed a sawhorse down between me and my family with no explanation. My family got in, but I couldn't. The angry crowd of tourists who also had tickets pushed against me so hard that they ruined the metro pass in my pocket. I was trapped in limbo, I was later told, because the pope decided to travel around the perimeter of the seats, and they needed the aisles clear. Sitting in the heat for an hour, I began to wonder if this was a metaphor for heaven.
When they lifted the gates, people surged forward, leaving me to wait for my family. In that enormous crowd, there was no way for me to find them. Talking to our priest, I found that this mismanagement is pretty common for crowd control, and happened to his group, too.

Next, the camera battery died, and I had to get the other one from the hotel so we could have a camera for the tour. I actually cursed during the pope's speech.

Guess when I found out my Metro card didn't work anymore? I ran back to the hotel, dripping sweat, and return 80 minutes later, 10 minutes before the Roman Odyssey tour is scheduled to start. No one at the restaurant had the faintest clue who this Rick Steves-recommended company was, and there was no sign like the other 3 companies who met here. We were terrified that someone had just stiffed us for 100 Euros plus the currency conversion fees we just paid. Though he gave us a 5 hour tour instead of the usual 3, and the Vatican Museums were the highlight of our vacation, this is not an experience I ever want to sit through again.

The first thing the guide did was take us past the lines to pay at the entrance with the money we just gave him. He told the kids to lie about their age to save him 20 euro and he'd buy them each an ice cream cone when we were through. He was very knowledgeable and interesting, and geared the tour so the kids could understand. Emily liked the tapestries designed by Raphael, but when the Vatican used them to secure a loan, someone pulled all the gold thread out of them. The restored Sistine Chapel was amazing, but there are no photos allowed. Our guide had to ask one guy to put out his cigarette before going in. As you stand cheek-to-cheek with hundred of others staring up, professional shooshers stand on the podium, tell people to be quiet, and point out tourists who snap photos to the police. I kid you not, they make each person delete the photos. Meanwhile, there are signs every three feet and stories in the paper warning you "there are pickpockets active here." The same was true of the Pieta and every item of exquisite beauty in Rome. Hmm...a metaphor?

The pope was performing mass in the basilica while we were leaving the tour. The corona of light in this place was awe inspiring. I'm told that instead of glass, the windows are thin slices of alabaster to achieve this affect.

By the time we were done, the Holy Stairs, the ones from Pilate's palace that Jesus walked on, were closed. The next day we made the long trip again--to find they were closed for siesta. When we arrived the third time, (does this sound like Monty Python to anyone else) a tour group clogged the stairs. You can only climb these stairs on your knees, but Tammy and Emily waited for the crowd and did it. They had professional shooshers here, too. Did you know that churches won't let you sit on the floor?

That night, we had our best and least expensive meal in Italy. At a local pizzaria, we ordered off the local menu instead of out of the glass case and for 8 euros, they gave us enough great food for two meals! We had enough left over for a picnic in the park the next day, where Tammy found a man with a tan poodle and showed him photos of our tan poodle.

The last modern site was the Borghese Gallery, which we had to get ticket for in advance or you don't get in. They give you a two hour slot, but open the doors late and kick you out 15 minutes early. We took a taxi to avoid losing our slot, and the driver had a GPS with Mario as the symbol! It was hilarious. We had to change our symbol on the TomTom the next day. There are no photos allowed at the gallery, no backpacks, or cameras. However, all the guards had their iPhones for texting. After the Vatican, these exhibits were dull. Five minutes in, I couldn't stand another sculpture (aside from Apollo chasing Daphne as she turned into a tree) or woman in blue with a boy child flaunting his penis. Pierce felt the same, and we made a game to count how many boys were peeing on us in each room.

The best irony of the trip: The gallery told lots of stories about how the cardinal who owned the place threatened people into giving him the art in the gallery. His uncle was the pope, and he could (and did) have people excommunicated or assassinated. In the last room, the galley people bemoaned the fact that Napoleon looted their collection and sold the pieces to others. Because there was a bill of sale, they couldn't get "their" art back. Tammy and I looked at each other. Hello, you STOLE it, too!

vacation 7: Rome

The hotel in Rome has no parking, not even to unload. They direct us to a former repair garage 70 meters down the street (they meant 700 meters) where we can park for 15 Euros a day. However, we will have no access to the car, as they pack them so tight that they put cardboard between the bumpers to avoid dings. I have to tell the attendant the hour I'll be by to claim the car in 3 days.

A word about Rome--wear good walking shoes and carry several bottles of water. The city will sweat a two week cruise off you in two days.

After carrying all our luggage back to the hotel  we walked the 30 minutes+ to the main train station Termini to pick up our Roma passes--our ticket to the subways and all the attractions we planned. The pick up spot hidden in the basement on the far side of the station required us to show passports to pick up our uniquely numbered cards--sounds valuable. The only English sign around was one that warned "if your card gets stolen we won't replace it." This must happen fairly often. So now we're worried someone is going to mug us for the cards. How hard up are the Italians?

We still reached the Coliseum by three. Rome is very easy to navigate--the metro is a big X and Termini is the center. At 9am, you can't shoehorn another human into rail cars and often have to wait for the next car.

The Roma pass enabled us to skip a ridiculous line and walk right in! The ipod audio tour was about two hours long, repeating a lot of info. When we finally walked across to the Forum ruins, no entrance was labeled and several alleys, sidewalks, and staircases were wire-fenced off by the authorities for no apparent reason. Once we finally reached an entrance (by following a guard back from a smoking break), it was after 5:30 and the ruins were closed. We could see people on the other side, enjoying a closeup view, but we couldn't go in. Fortunately, almost everything was visible from the street or Coliseum balcony.

Disappointed, we walked the rest of the ancient Rome plan for that day. Everything was closed except the Pantheon (domed temple of Minerva with the occulus co-opted by the church) and Trevi fountain. The walk through this area was quite pleasant, even though the fountain was packed. Since the nearest Metro stop was another 15 minutes+ away, we stopped to eat, rest, and potty at a burger and gelato place. They made an ice cream dish with crepes and Nutella that tasted sinfully good.

I'll skip ahead to the last ancient site on day three--the Diocletian Baths. We skipped the ones at Bath, England, figuring the ones in Rome would be better. (buzzer) Wrong. We had to walk 30 minutes from the Borghese Gallery park to the site, and when we arrived no one could tell us where it was. The road it sits on is named for this site, for goodness sake. We had the right mega-city-block, but had to walk 3/4 the way around and past an unmanned guard shack to get into the museum. Once inside the museum, we wandered for another 10 minutes. The docent thought we wanted the toilets. The actual baths have not been preserved or made into exhibits. There is one video in the corner in Italian about rebuilding the roof, and the rest is a MODERN ART GALLERY. We felt robbed and went back to the Vatican post office to send postcards instead.

vacation 6: Pisa

The next day, we drove about 9 hours along the French Riviera. There's not a lot of competition or choice for food at the tollway rest stops, so we ate granola bars, paprika Pringles, and Nutella and jam sandwiches from food we bought a few days ago. We saw nothing of France until the tunnels around Monaco. Then, it rained--so no point in getting off the tollway in that mess.

The mountain tunnels and bridges of Italy never ended, and there was a new town in each valley. (see example to left, with Mediterranean in background.) Genoa was a wedding cake of tunnels. Seeing this gorgeous mountain scenery reminded us of Pennsylvania times ten. However, (and this sounds harsh) Italy from this vantage point looked poor. Even new buildings looked like they had been decaying since the seventies.

We finally reached Pisa minutes from nightfall. The area around the tower is ancient, walled city with big signs that say no entrance. We decided to head to the hotel. When we hit that button, the GPS told us there was no route. You can't get there from here! I had Tammy follow the river while I worked out the coordinates for the nearest cross street by the hotel. It turns out that just across the street, it's another town, not Pisa, plus the hotel had a dirt parking lot we had to cross to get to the front desk--hence the GPS confusion. The neighborhood wasn't the best and the hotel courtyard is gated, dark, and locked. When we arrive, the man at the front gate complained that admissions were closed at 7pm. He's allowed to go home after that. Since it was now 8, it was within his rights to just take all our money. I played up how tired the kids were, how long the drive way, and showed him the voucher that said "Clients will arrive after 8" with his email address. He eventually lets us in, but not the car. So we have to carry all seven bags plus food and electronics into our triple locked room--complete with thick steel door and alarm system. The car whimpered to be left alone. Keep in mind that every car rental place makes you buy extra insurance for Italy. At this point, we're thinking that Voltarra (the vampire city from Twilight) a few miles away would have been safer and more hospitable.

The next morning, we made it to Pisa by 8, and nothing was open yet. GREAT! This is the way to see the city. We parked for free on the street (instead of the city parking lot for several Euros) and had all our photos by 8:15. My favorite (above) has us all leaning the same direction as the tower to make it look normal. All in all, a must miss.

On the way out of town, we wanted to go by scenic coastal roads to Rome. Can't get there from here. So much for all roads freaking leading to Rome. You must travel by the tollway via Florence to Rome. At least Italian tollways take credit. Be careful, the exit to Rome isn't marked well in foot-tall green signs like everywhere else, and a block later, we ended up in a traffic circle jam for twenty minutes. In short, if at all possible, skip Pisa.

vacation 5: Lourdes

 To get to Lourdes we drove 130 km an hour through high winds along the mountains separating France and Spain. I wanted to visit Andorra along the way, but it would've been another two hours. There's a castle on every third hill. Note: GPS spedometers are highly inaccurate in mountains as they only measure horizontal speed. The only glitch is that French toll booths don't accept our Visa card or any of our cards like Spain did. It burns through a lot of cash--$25-$75 a day in tolls.

Nestled in gorgeous misted, green mountains, the city of Lourdes is a multilevel maze of one-way streets, hotels, and souvenir shops. Talk about money changers in the temple! People sell everything here to the tens of thousand of pilgrims who come to visit the grotto every day.

There's only one attraction in the city and they hide it! I spotted the very top of a cathedral on a side street, but the church website said that the baths were separate. I wanted to go to the baths, which is Piscene in French. A little pictionary and watching "Life of Pi" reminded me of this. Once you feed the parking meters (the nearest ramp is 15 minutes walk away) and find one of the two entrances, the whole labelled campus opens up. They even have a building dedicated to confession beforehand.

Pierce, Tammy, and Emily were all immersed. Like bathrooms, there was no line at the men's, but Pierce and I had to wait for the ladies. Next we waited in line to touch the grotto. The guard skipped us to the front of the line, probably because of the children. Then we visited the shrine that had a plaque for each healing since it was built. Not a surface was uncovered. Emily posed under the crown so it would look like she was wearing it.

On the way out, we found the main entrance with the carved angels--beautiful. But the beggars congregate here. One in training followed us back to our car.

The kids, with all the choices in French food, wanted McDonalds. At Sagrada Familia yesterday, we had KFC, so it's a theme. Last time I was here, France would've gone to war at the mention of Walmart or fast food. Things had changed in a few decades.

We plowed through hundreds of souvenir stalls. What does a stuffed cat have to do with healing waters? The GPS said 750 meters to the restaurant until the first intersection and then wigged out... so we asked strangers where it was. They looked at me funny until I drew the arches. "Oh! Mac Donals" The French people eat at a second counter with quiche, croissants, and latte. At the tourist counter, I order a number duex, sans onion. Tammy gives her typical detailed order. My wife knows what she wants, and I benefited from that, so I can't complain. But the woman at the register is dumbstruck. She calls for emergency backup from the woman who allegedly speaks English, the one I just saw beat a two foot garbage bag down a one foot chute. I back away from the register. Expert Clerk is stumped for a while, too. Tammy decides to simplify. No onion, no mustard. Huh? Tammy gets access to their register, and finds the button for mustard. "Oh. Moussard!" Really? We gave up on Ranch dressing for the kids' nuggets, and used ketchup. Tammy's burger didn't come with the rest of the food. You have to walk up and get your own special orders when your psychic sense tells you its ready, which also require the receipt even if you're the only customer in the restaurant. When we're done, I find there is an automated ordering screen in four languages near the entrance.

Leaving the tiny village was like the hotel California. I shut off the GPS and went back the way we came until I saw a roundabout sign that said Toulouse.