A Day in the Life

People ask me how full-time writing is going. GREAT! Since my daughter is in sports and religious education, my days as a writer look something like this:

• Up before 7, make lunches and help the kids onto the bus.
• Nap till 9 when Tammy has her first client. Expect at least one phone call or text.
• Let the dog out. Spray the cats for attacking the dog.
• Answer email and check Facebook. NO MORE THAN ONE HOUR.
• Edit yesterday's pages and type notes till about 11:30.
• Eat while petting the cat. The eating part is optional.
• Pick three chores I don't want to do. Complete one of them now.
• Write a new chapter half till 2:00. Print and back up.
• Get the mail. Race the dog to the box, but let the dog win.
• Complete another task I don't want to do.
• Run to the kids school and then to a sports field an hour away. If they've been good, we can get a milkshake once a week.
• Grade math homework during the game. For home games, I get to do this in the public library.
• Carry the chairs, coats, blankets, food, water, and entertainment center to our side of the field.
• Try to type on the computer while Emily is not playing if I can find someplace with no glare.
• Find something for dinner. When did we have pizza last?
• Drive an hour home, stopping at least once for something we need: gas, milk, books, Pokemon games.
• Coerce children into doing homework that magically appears near bedtime.
• Get children ready for bed. Order child to perform each step because it's different than yesterday. Yes, the teeth, too. All of them. With toothpaste.
• Check email.
• Break up fight between children while brushing teeth.
• Oh yeah, that third task I delayed from lunch.
• Put girl child back in bed.
• Write the other half of the chapter until Tammy gets done typing her notes.
• Put four items on my TODO list for tomorrow.
• Watch a show on Tivo or Netflix until she's too tired to keep her eyes open.
• Frantically scribble notes in the dark about things I should change about latest chapter and next few.

Repeat until Saturday. Where we replace school with:

• mow lawn using lawn tractor with dog on lap
• force children to clean room
• force children to do at least one task which scars them for life, preferably outside
• type notes while watching Scooby
• wife picks one task for me to do from her list